Nouvelle Vague

living just to keep going - going just to be sane - all the while I know its - such a shame

2011-05-25T18:47:00.003-05:00

it’s been hard to update, due to the fact that i have no working home computers right now. i think we have at least four or five sitting around the house - four or five buckets of junk, decades-old hard drives that probably have less space than my current, yet already outdated, phone.

i’ve been reading a lot of chuck klosterman. i’m telling you… my dream is to do exactly what he does (professionally speaking anyway)… writing for rock mags and blogging and having his stories/novels/essays/whatever published… god. it gives me something to strive for. if that guy can wax intellectual about zach morris and black metal, then goddamnit, so can i.

but i can’t even think clearly right now. i have so much going on. good and bad. but here! look at my new tattoo. tattoos make everything better.

new dreams, crowding out old realities

2011-04-20T16:07:00.002-05:00

classic, indecisive kimmy.

not sure if i will abandon this blog and continue with my tumblr account, or perhaps i can keep both, in some sort of jekyll-and-hyde fashion of duality (staying true to my recent-but-always-known diagnosis of bipolar deux - thousands of dollars to tell me something i've always known, thank you so much).

who knows. who cares. does anyone even read this?

i'm performing our one and noble function of our time: MOVE

2011-04-15T16:07:00.000-05:00

Always weigh what I've got against what I left
So progress report: I am missing you to death

2011-04-15T15:07:00.001-05:00

oh, nostalgia.

The Gube Strikes Back

2011-03-08T15:05:00.002-06:00

Attack of the Gube

2011-03-07T04:07:00.002-06:00

2011-02-23T14:07:00.000-06:00

“Love! What is it?

Most natural painkiller what there is.

LOVE”

2011-02-03T13:51:00.004-06:00

but hey. there's this. or this.

or best of all:

disappear here

2011-02-03T13:39:00.002-06:00

arg.

fuck this fucking weather.

i get cabin fever something fierce, and yet, my brain just goes stagnant.

ugggggggg.

i hate feeling consistently on edge. just one day where i didn't have to worry or feel like the world was crashing down on me... it'd sure be nice.

2011-01-20T10:56:00.003-06:00

I JUST GOOGLE MAPPED THE EIFFEL TOWER

!!!

try it sometime... it's almost like being there... it's the closest i'll probably ever get to it anyway.

satellite of love

2011-01-17T13:30:00.004-06:00

oh man. the fucking cure. disintegration, pornography, faith, ...

this has been my monday morning so far. my monday morning mixtape, monday morning for *you*... special. drive in saturday, computer love, the passenger. rock and roll suicide. perfect day.

oh, and hey, here's some more kraftwerk for you. the best kraftwerk song, ever. on stylophone.

so, true to form, kel and i did miss out on the aforementioned (posted earlier) corey feldman film festival... but hopefully we'll follow through with this.

spoiler alert, possibly.

2011-01-17T09:29:00.002-06:00

ALSO, i was thoroughly disappointed with black swan. i'm sorry. i was.

and i love darren aronofsky, which makes it worse.

pretty much the best thing about the movie was the love scene. which was also disappointing, only because they talked it up so much. and not to give anything away but the film was just full of cop-outs.

i hate the 'it's all in your head' bullshit. that's just a cop-out if you ask me.

2011-01-17T09:17:00.002-06:00

kelli, sunday, january 16:

'stop ian curtis suiciding over there!!'

what? no funny?

2011-01-14T18:19:00.004-06:00

i fucking love this kid with all my heart. no matter what happens to me, or to him, or to us simultaneously. he's the best.

still, though, i'm feeling like the captain of the titanic. or maybe more than that, i'm like one of those musicians. whether it was foolish devotion, or (still foolish) loyalty, stubbornness, fear, whatever the fuck it was.... it's gonna take me down too.

you took my heart and you hocked it.

2011-01-14T07:59:00.003-06:00

'mother i tried please believe me, i'm doing the best that I can. i'm ashamed of the things i've been put through, i'm ashamed of the person I am'

these are dark days.

really dark days.

i would like to think that there's some security, in anything i do... but there isn't.

it's the most terrifying thing. i'm living without a net.

and i am consistently one step away from just... well... i don't even know. doing something drastic, dramatic, and stupid.

it's my own fault for having idiots for idols, but...

'she gave away the secrets of her past and said, i've lost control again'

i'm sorry i'm such a lout. i really am. even my closest friends can attest to my... i could only describe it as flakiness, but it's not as easy as that...

i can't explain it, and i guess i shouldn't. just makes me sound like more of an asshole. but i guess that's the truth and i shouldn't bother avoiding it.

but i am sorry.

'see my true reflection, cut off my own connections. i can see life getting harder. so sad is this sensation, reverse the situation. i can't see it getting better...'

hamartia

2011-01-12T14:09:00.001-06:00

the good life is out there somewhere

so stay on my arm, you little charmer

typecast forgotten young saviours

2011-01-11T09:50:00.004-06:00

"don't you know it takes something more to cope with these problems, this stress. This i can take but the way some people look at me, the way some people talk, really gets me down. this is all i want. this is all i came for. this is my life"

be like the kettle and sing!

2011-01-07T08:26:00.005-06:00

"the yearnings of two hearts create such heavenly pain"

such freudian slips will no longer be tolerated, dear. i'm calling the whole thing off.

someone caught me listening to the smiths on my way in to work this morning. i believe his words were along the lines of, "why on earth would you subject yourself to morrissey that early in the morning?!" and later, "it's like you're setting yourself up for suicide..."

okay that last line was embellished just a bit (replace 'suicide' with 'a bad day'). but i know that's what he was thinking.

and what was i thinking? we need public service announcements for this exact problem - you know it, i blogged it yesterday, rob gordon's initial monologue is a cautionary tale of the same:

music can be hazardous to your health.

like, if you just broke up with a boyfriend, refrain from listening to jeff buckley's grace or the postal service's give up. If you're struggling with work, bills, and adulthood, do NOT under any circumstance listen to "bastards of young" by the replacements. get where i'm going?

anyway... my coworker was right. i really should not have listened to the smiths this morning. my whole day. completely ruined. thanks, steven!

caroline, yes.

2011-01-06T14:10:00.004-06:00

33.3 Art Show.

Thirty three and a third artists and designers reinterpret and reimagine existing album covers.

but i'm still fond of you, oh-oh-a-oh

2011-01-06T09:42:00.004-06:00

sam cooke. you send me. bee-yoo-ti-ful (if i were andy warhol, oooooh)

sometimes, certain songs can stir such emotions in me, such strong emotions, that i literally have to stop listening.

it's not always sadness, either. sometimes i just get so overwhelmed with fondness for certain people, certain situations, i guess it would be love? but love isn't an emotion, maybe it's happiness...? the giddy, full, warm feeling, knowing that you have these amazing people in your life. people that, no matter how bad it gets, they just have that capability to make everything tolerable, even enjoyable.

it makes me smile to the point of exhaustion, makes me brim with silly tears. bee-yoo-ti-ful.

2011-01-05T14:01:00.003-06:00

whoa there, girl. two posts in one day.

oddness abounds. next sunday my best gal, kelqui, and i are attending a haim/feldman film festival at the hollywood cinemas in woodridge, il. at least, that's the plan as of right now. you can never tell with the two of us.

i just signed up to become a member on turner classic movies' main site. for no real reason other than it's all i've been watching lately, i feel as if robert osborne and ben mankiewicz are intimates of mine, practically.

god! i'm a dork. i know it, i'm okay with it at least.

'you all may be her beaus, but i taught Josie all she knows'

2011-01-05T09:47:00.004-06:00

wild wild wild youth (insert claps)

i can't, i'm sworn to secrecy. but wouldn't you love to know?

my writing is prolific, and yet, i'm not doing anything challenging, anything new.

i've never been good at balancing, i've always plunged headfirst into endeavors while forgetting even important things. there are definitely people that i miss and that i want to see or talk to. i'm just so notoriously bad at it. at being social. evenly social, i guess. i'm either climbing the rafters or bedridden for weeks.

and this isn't even making the least bit of sense, i know, but maybe it will to a few of you.

it's not an apology, just an explanation.

but really, i am the worst.

addendum: this book is pretty damned good.

a comedy for those who think; and a tragedy for those who feel

2011-01-04T14:12:00.004-06:00

new, shiny, excitedness:

so i am working with my awesome cousin on a possible novel. i don't know what will come of it, but we are at least going to collaborate, share some ideas, see where it goes. i am truly excited. it's a lot cooler when you get to share these kinds of things with your family.

i am also currently working with other family members on transcribing some of my grandfather's war-era letters... which again, makes me really happy to be collaborating with my family, on our own history.

i don't suppose it has much to do with being italian, but maybe it does, who knows. family is just important to me. whether is bound by blood or otherwise.

blahhhh. wanna do up the west coast somethin' fierce.

tragedy plus time...

2011-01-03T13:47:00.005-06:00

so, happy 2011???

i tell you, i slept right through it.

sometimes i feel like pulling an anna karenina.

but enough of the maudlin. really. i did recently watch get him to the greek, and not two days later, my favorite year, and really, aren't they quite similar? russell brand playing the inebriated, washed up rockstar, peter otoole playing the inebriated, washed up screen idol. that jonah hill guy's character, no different really from the guy from perfect strangers whose name i can't recall at the moment...

ghttg doesn't hold a candle to my favorite year though. watching peter otoole leap onto the policeman's horse in the park, or swinging down from the balcony at 30 rock... really, just wonderful performances. why can't they seem to make movies like they used to? have they really run out of ideas?

BUT OH MY GOD. OMYEFFINGGOD. Sam Riley as SAL PARADISE. I cannot fucking wait.

i've been staying in quite a bit. i also was able to catch scott pilgrim vs. the world (decent), 500 days of summer (sad), singin' in the rain (can you believe i've never seen it before? oh, gene kelly, how have i never appreciated your beauty?!), and this wonderful movie with cary grant and his at-the-time wife, where they adopted two children, in addition to the three they already had... can't remember the name but it was really quite sweet. also roman holiday, for the hundredth time, and walk the line... i tell you, some movies are just like comfort food to me.

i also just finished honey, by honey bruce... the sordid story of lenny's 'shady lady'... it's really sad, what did you expect? i think lenny had a lot in common with another lonely junkie soul, johnny thunders. incapable of coping neither with real life, or with the stratospheres of success, they chose to selfdestruct, leaving behind snippets of brilliance in their wake. its unfortunate, the pull of the old push-and-pull, what the fuck makes people think it's something to be glamorized or sugarcoated? have you not SEEN, i mean REALLY TAKEN A GOOD LOOK at keith richards lately??? if you want to know the true ravages of narcotics, LOOK AT HIS FACE.

oy vey. there's your antidrug.

2010-12-25T19:01:00.000-06:00

hey jesus.

happy birthday.

sigh.

i mean, god only knows how or why your fanatic, obsessive, even cult-esque behavior inspired so many to build yet destroy; love and yet loathe, preach without practice, et cetera, ad nauseam.

but, for 2,000 years, it's worked, so i guess you did something right.

ones that love us least, the ones we'll die to please.

2010-12-23T09:44:00.004-06:00

well.

been an interesting sort of week so far. happy, happy birthday indeed.

one thing i can say, although i have weathered years upon years of generic (and not-so generic) heartbreak, i will always, always have my friends... some have come and gone, of course (sometimes i was the one going)... but goddamn.

sometimes all this poor me, nobody-loves-me bullshit makes me lose sight of who and what is really important to me.

the ones that really matter, i hope they know. i know i probably don't say it enough. but i hope they know.

the mean reds

2010-12-20T08:09:00.006-06:00

"does he lay awake listening to your breath. worried you smoke too many cigarettes"

06/08

always shifing the feelings from one person to another. the names, the faces change, but the sentiments do not.

sometimes, sometimes she forgets which one she's talked to that day; she'll wonder if her cute and charming anecdotes have already been mentioned to that one or not? did she call him by the correct name, even? and does he suspect a thing???

oh god. this is how bad she's become. she's become her father, she's become Ian fucking Curtis. all those horror stories, the pain her mother felt, and the betrayal; and now she's no different.

"i will not weep for those dying days. for all the ones who've left there's a few that stayed"

_____

how do you turn it off? where's that fucking switch that makes you stop caring?

a blindness that touches perfection

2010-12-18T10:48:00.009-06:00

courtney love once said of her doomed paramour, "kurt cobain makes my heart stop. but he's a shit"... goddamn blonde, blue-eyes-like-dinner-plates, piscean men.

i read that, and i knew exactly what she meant. that stupid, stupid feeling in at the bottom of your stomach... it's not nausea, but i am loathe to use the term 'butterflies'... maybe instead it's just the dread, the anxiety of knowing that this guy has the potential to, and most likely will, break your silly heart.

oh, maybe that's a little overdramatic. but for all the heartbreak i've given and received, the ones dispensing it have always been cold, Teutonic, emotionless ghouls.

maybe i am just as clueless as miss parker (see previous post). maybe i feel like it's some sort of game; let's see if we can make this one work. instead of accepting incompatibility, it becomes a challenge.

a challenge i'll always lose.

i am really, really down today. it's been a steady pattern of that for a while now. and what timing, too. happy birthday, indeed.

the direction you don't take

2010-12-16T14:28:00.004-06:00

i just watched this, and i do predict a sudden, overwhelming fascination with the 1930's... great depression... gun molls... lives cut short... and other such nonsense.

and let me just say... wow. bonnie parker was really pretty. which is puzzling to me, why such a petite, pretty, and poetic young thing would willingly meet with such a horrific fate... i mean, is that really the draw, the pull of 'true love'?!?

hub-cap-diamond-star-halo

2010-12-15T07:56:00.005-06:00

just about another week, and i will no longer be eligible for that silly club.

although, in their terms, i would have had to been famous, or at least somewhat famous, or at the VERY least, contributed SOMETHING to the pop culture landscape. and i hardly think a glorified livejournal counts, sooooooo...

maybe THAT should be my hint, or my proverbial kick-to-the-rear, to get something going. maybe it's just the fear of getting older but i am starting to feel a sort of panic, a tightening in the chest whenever i start to think about how much time has passed and just how LITTLE i've actually done and seen. the clock is ticking, damnit.

'life's going by, but it's just begun...' and look where it got them. not members of the 27 club, but surely they've found a place in the rock and roll mythos. at least, i fucking hope so (although they aren't found here, i stumbled across this in my "research"... really, an amusing read if you have the time. go here for the ha-ha's).

oh! but i digress. i always digress. maybe THAT has been the problem all along.

OMG!

2010-12-07T13:49:00.004-06:00

I just got referenced, or cited, or whatever the word is, as a late seventies/early eighties punk/music "expert" for a college newspaper! and a real college too, not just a community college! mwahahah.

oh, excitement. tra la la.

predict earthquakes!

2010-11-24T13:02:00.007-06:00

'you pin a dragon to your hats... you're up in the attic with the bats'

i'm stuck on this self-defeating behavior kick. can't make the flesh do what the rational mind knows is best... ohhhh, but the flesh... the flesh is listless, it's tired, it's waiting for its next release...

nothing quite like the newness and the promise though... the possibility, i guess, the anticipation and the flirtation with something, someone... nothing like it to take your mind off the rest of the mess you call your life.

but that's no way to go through life, is it? one frying pan to another. the faces change but the sentiments don't.

wow.

i'm kindof an asshole, huh?

like a frantic inept Lazarus

2010-11-21T17:23:00.009-06:00

and i go home having lost her love. and write this book

my pessimistic nature already had prophesied our doom. speaking nervously in dark parking lots i had mentioned my theory on the whole sad courtship debacle, people love love love the chase but when they have it, they realise they don't want it.

that, or people tend to fall in love with the idea of a person, before they truly know them - not that anyone truly knows anyone else anyway, but that's a story for another day - they invent their own backstories, project their hopes and desires, and when reality hits, it's a crushing, lonely blow. it's the proverbial jump-the-shark moment, no one wants to see the end result of courtship, they thrive off the tension and the 'what ifs', will-they-or-won't-they, neatly packaged between the commercials. our nielsen ratings took a dive that first week, and we just never could recover, could we?

if you have a choice of two things and can't decide, take both

yes, mister corso, that's a grand idea and i see what you're preaching, but it's not so black-and-white. we just want it all, and what we cannot have, always pursuing the unattainable and attempting the impossible. something that should always be encouraged in matters of life, career, or education, but in the ways of the figurative heart, it should be a big, blinking, neon "NO". do not attempt, do not pass go, or some such nonsense.

it's akin to those that only want/need the person that will treat them miserably. it's not the same, but it's pretty damn close. WHY on earth do we waste our time, when the rational, sane parts of our brain know that it isn't a good idea? or not even necessarily a bad idea, but just something that essentially does not work? two different expectations, two different sets of desires?

ah it's the morning; and the mourning it is dawning on me too; i had no warning; just a condolence card to tell me that we're through

but really, let's be honest here and admit that it's not the person we mourn, it's not some grand shakespearean tragedy. it's much sadder than that. it's realism: it's knowing that we couldn't make something work. it's another failure to add to the list, and that's what really kills.

i'm sick of these tragic little vignettes. my lexicon is stuck on song lyrics and obscure film references, gushing forth in an overcaffeinated, manic timbre. i can't seem to write about anything else lately. but maybe catharsis is necessary at this point.

"she can't understand suddenly what has happened because she's lost her mind, her usual recognition of self, and feels the eerie buzz of mystery, she really does not know who she is and what for and where she is, she looks out the window and this city is the big bleak bare stage of some giant joke being perpetrated on her."

only the good die young, but in your case we'll make an exception

2010-11-19T16:31:00.004-06:00

so in an attempt to make something of myself, once and for all, i have been writing more. blogging more. not that i really consider blogging 'proper' writing - but at this point, i will gladly take anything i can get. if the creative juices can only produce a mere, sporadic blog post every few days, that's more than fine for me. and if someone likes it, bully. and if someone likes it enough to publish (keep your fingers crossed), then even better.

i know that it's rare to actually end up where you originally planned. i know that, and yet, i'm constantly mourning my dreams and aspirations... instead of actually doing anything about it. for the most part, i'm pretty positive... but for some reason, it hasn't been so easy, lately.

usually, all it takes is the love and encouragement of my friends and family; good conversation, hanging out, connecting - usually, that's all i need to make me happy. but on the other hand, i've noticed lately that i haven't been taking care of myself, emotionally speaking at least - allowing myself to be in these unhealthy situations, when i really should know better.

deep down, i know exactly what i want out of life, out of a relationship, out of my limitless future possibilities, but for some reason, i've been wasting my time with people, places, and things that are NOT good for me, that are quite honestly detrimental to my health and my happiness. so what the fuck am i doing?

i don't really know the answer to that. but i do know that i am starting to wake up from it, at least. whatever "it" is.

i want to write, i want to get myself out of this financial hole, i want to travel and really live and be with people that WANT to be with me. and be with me completely - i'm sick of just being someone's monday night entertainment. i'm sick of being with someone on their terms only, emotional immaturity, et cetera, ad nauseam. fuck it.

time to do something. give some meanings to the means to your end.

more "benefit" than "friend"

2010-11-18T14:11:00.003-06:00

San Francisco is seriously begging, pleading with me now.

It's too much caffeine, and no real source of nourishment. It's the inside of a song, it's time for your William Tell act...

...homesick blues

2010-11-17T13:41:00.003-06:00

it's like leading a double, no, triple life. and yet there's no real satisfaction in any of it.

"work was my dominant thought, not love-- not the pain which impels me to write this even while i don't want to, the pain which won't be eased by the writing of this but heightened, but which will be redeemed, and if only it were a dignified pain and could be placed somewhere other than in this black gutter of shame and loss and noisemaking folly in the night and poor sweat on my brow--"

i'm dreaming of the west coast again. pacific heights inn, beat alleys, onceloved and manic... fuck this scene anyway.

my heart just isn't in it anymore.

little white lies in matching suits and ties

2010-11-16T19:24:00.006-06:00

we are in this supposed age of enlightenment, where we can have 'arrangements', unromantic encounters, oh, we're so mature, pretending that it doesn't matter. we pretend so fucking well that it starts to become truth; and you just don't matter anymore.

you're just a warm patch in a cold bed, keeping place until the next body comes along.

and she, she's become too good at this. she's beating 'em at their own game.

(i'm like, half kerouac, half pamela debarres. i speak in confessionals. i breathe rockandroll and heartache. trust me. i've already had a few lifetimes' worth)

but i must say, when you can find someone, someone that you can have a true, honesttogod, 'nsa' (just typing that makes me cringe) agreement with, it can be fun. comforting. gleefully naughty and honest.

but on the other hand... if you have any shred of emotion left for that person, then you're fucked. i definitely do not recommend it, unless you've had a good year's worth of distance.

how do i know this, you ask?

well... let's just say i've experienced both ends of that spectrum, in my modest lifetime. it's enough to make you sick, really. and sometimes i beat myself up about it, having become this cruel, soulless thing, leaving a trail of bruised egos in my wake. but for all the damage i've done, it pales in comparison to the hurt inflicted upon me. or, well, maybe i'm just too sensitive.

at any rate... i'm ready for the rollercoaster to end. enough of this emotionless bedhopping and feigned interest... i want something with substance. no more of this foolishness, either. no more blindly falling head over heels, and enough of the mister good-for-rightnows. i'm done done done.

2010-11-12T08:21:00.018-06:00

why is it that teen tragedies are so much more newsworthy than their adult counterparts?

why does the daily hertribfucktimesblah have to spew sadness and injustice about some poor kid getting struck and killed, and yet, YET, they do not deem it newsworthy to spew similarly about a 31-year-old losing his life in the same fashion?!?!?

enough about that. from sadness to anger... why do the good die young, and assholes live forever? i don't mean that literally, but, without naming names, can you tell me how certain people get away with mistreating the people around them? without consequence?!?!

oh fuck it. who cares about protecting the not-so-innocent. in the next couple of days i will be calling OSHA, or whatever Illinois labor agencies there are... i'm going on a rampage. people have to realize they cannot, or will not, get away with mistreating their employees.

i know that bar is on its last legs, which makes me wonder if that's why she's lashing out. she knows she doesn't have that much time left. i can't even imagine how many vendors, customers, etc., she's already owed and/or alienated...

...then again, if you want to run your business into the ground, i guess that's the way to do it!

sweetheart of the rodeo

2010-11-06T11:43:00.007-05:00

in honor of Joe Moe and his recent sexy eighties danceparty mix, i will counter that friggin' fantastic compilation with something from the absolute other end of the spectrum.

for your listening pleasure, i give to you:

the kimmy t, breakin' hearts and takin' names mix.

side a

1. The Good Life - Lovers Need Lawyers
2. Brand New - Jesus Christ
3. Interpol - No 'I' In Threesome
4. The Undertones - Get Over You
5. The Exploding Hearts - Rumors in Town
6. The Beach Boys - Here Today
7. The Shangri-Las - Remember (Walkin' in the Sand)
8. Lesley Gore - Maybe I Know
9. Ray Charles - Unchain My Heart
10. The Supremes - You Keep Me Hangin' On
11. Gene Pitney - Town Without Pity

side b

12. Buddy Holly - It Doesn't Matter Anymore
13. Death Cab For Cutie - Someday You Will Be Loved
14. Bhopal Stiffs - Bottle it Up
15. Joy Divison - Isolation
16. Naked Raygun - Treason
17. Muse - Our Time is Running Out
18. The Spill Canvas - Lust a Prima Vista
19. Buzzcocks - Ever Fallen in Love
20. Bob Dylan - Positively Fourth Street
21. Violent Femmes - Kiss Off

It'd be like sleeping with Talia Shire in Rocky if you weren't Rocky

2010-11-05T13:37:00.003-05:00

Wow. Not all the time, but especially when it comes to work, I can be pretty goddamn surly. Not something I'm necessarily proud of, but it's a character trait nonetheless, something I can either be ashamed of, or repackage as something 'endearing' or 'charming', depending on your sense of whimsy...

Not sure what made me think of it, other than the drudgery of your average workday.

What else do I think of when my ADD-riddled brain gets a chance to wander, you ask?

Well. My gentleman friend's father, apparently, has a penchant for juggling broads (not his words, but mine). At any given time, he has at least two, if not more, girlfriends on the roster- they're all personal trainers, too, for some reason..

But wow, do I digress... Point is, no one in his family seems to be offended by this at all, and I think that's the most eyebrow-raising aspect of it- more than the act itself, it's the welcoming, or at least accepting reaction of his family members.

Not that what he's doing is inherently wrong, either... but I guess that would depend on who you are asking...

...which does bring me to my main point. Is what he's doing really wrong? I mean, the only thing that would be bad i guess is if the women didn't know of each other.... which they probably don't, in all honesty.... but as long as they were, at the very least, aware of each other, is it really so wrong, what this guy is doing? What is he really guilty of?

I'm not trying to advocate polygamy or anything, not like those sisterwife jackasses- but this guy, he isn't married, isn't trying to get married, he's just casually seeing these women, enjoying their company, and isn't that the point of life anyway?

...that, or I just really need to keep my mouth shut sometimes.

2010-11-02T13:40:00.002-05:00

This is fucking hilarious.

This is something that I recently discovered in an old notebook, scribbled and unpublished, from 2/20/2009:

The Breakup Routine

(as practiced by myself and several colleagues)

I know everyone is different. And every breakup is a different situation. Some feel relief, some just accept it, and others go batshit insane... I'd like to think that I've never experienced the latter, but come on, who am I trying to kid?

At any rate, below is our list of post-breakup, therapeutic rituals:

1. Make a mix tape.

Even if you don't give it to the person, compiling your best, angriest songs can sometimes better express the gutwrenching pain you feel.

2. Watch High Fidelity.

Actually, while I'm at it, read Jack Kerouac's The Subterraneans too.

3. Throw a 'party'

(ed. I don't know what this one even means, and I didn't have anything written below it, so we're going to leave it as-is. on to the best one...)

4. Drink to excess.

What else needs to be said? Go out with your friends, have drinks with stupid names, dance and make a fool of yourself. Or stay in and watch lame movies with a bottle of wine by your side.

And while I'm not totally proud to admit this...

5. is Go out and get a rebound.

And whether that's just making out with someone in a crowded bar, taking them home for a one night stand, or picking out china patterns with 'em, the best way to get over someone is to find someone else. Generally, it's smarter to just surround yourself with your family and your friends, but you're gonna have to get back on that horse eventually. Hah. Just remember what the great Gene Pitney once sung: "Only love can break a heart, only love can mend it again".

Of course, I'm sure he wasn't referring to picking up poor unsuspecting rebound bar chicks... then again, maybe he was..

Hilarious, right? And oft times, true. Yeeeeeeah.

2010-10-29T18:25:00.002-05:00

TONIGHT!!!

THE EDGE COMEDY CLUB!!!

THE (ZOMBIE-ESQUE) COMIC STYLINGS OF MISTER JOE MOTISI!!!

Be there or be one of these:

2010-10-28T14:29:00.001-05:00

I bet that you love me like I love you
But I should know that gambling just don't pay
So I look up to the sky
And I wonder what it'll be like in days gone by
As I sit and bathe in the wave of nostalgia for an age yet to come

I always used to dream of the past
But like they say yesterday never comes
Sometimes there's a song in my brain
And I feel that my heart knows the refrain
I guess it's just the music that brings on nostalgia for an age yet to come

Ah nostalgia for an age yet to come
Nostalgia for an age yet to come

About the future I only can reminisce
For what I've had is what I'll never get
And although this may sound strange
My future and my past are presently disarranged
And I'm surfing on a wave of nostalgia for an age yet to come

I look I only see what I don't know
All that was strong invincible is slain
Takes more than sunshine to make everything fine
And I feel like I'm trapped in the middle of time
With this constant feeling of nostalgia for an age yet to come

Ah nostalgia for an age yet to come

About the future I only can reminisce
For what I've had is what I'll never get
And although this may sound strange
My future and my past are presently disarranged
And I'm surfing on a wave of nostalgia for an age yet to come

I look I only see what I don't know
All that was strong invincible is slain
Takes more than sunshine to make everything fine
And I feel like I'm caught in the middle of time
And this constant feeling of nostalgia for an age yet to come

2010-10-27T19:43:00.002-05:00

tom waits, on tom waits:

Q: What's heaven for you?

A: Me and my wife on Rte. 66 with a pot of coffee, a cheap guitar, pawnshop tape recorder in a Motel 6, and a car that runs good parked right by the door.

i should be married to tom waits.

no.

scratch that. but it is the cutest fucking thing ever.

2010-10-20T13:51:00.004-05:00

there's no fucking way this is real. right? i mean, really?

original post can be found here. yeah.

so much for actually writing anything lately. well, anything of worth. i am, however, currently working on lyrics for Astronauts in Love, a side project with my lovely ex, Joe (yes, i said lovely, and surprisingly, we do get along swimmingly) - who is also the main man behind Hey Man Far Out. so check 'em out.

2010-10-19T13:49:00.002-05:00

This is fucking rad, combining my love of photography, old/vintage/antique artifacts, bygone eras, and that staple of 1950's/60's teenage Americana, bowling. Yes, bowling.

Love it.

goin' faster than a rollercoaster

2010-10-10T14:48:00.002-05:00

it's not a crime to know exactly what you want.

it's a crime only when you waste others' time.

so from here on out, you're gonna get only the bare-bones of my soul, naked and vulnerable.

if you're not willing to risk it, then you're not doing anything worthwhile at all.

...oh god, there i go again with the cliches. the next post will be about something fun, i promise. like mixtapes and thrift stores. fall weather, warm sweaters and that butterflies-in-your-stomach feeling. hahah. i promise.

2010-10-09T11:31:00.002-05:00

"Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk — real straight talk about souls, for life is holy and every moment is precious." Yeah, Kerouac. Sing it.

Recently, someone mentioned something about missing high school... how going back made him yearn for that time, or what-have-you, and I really just do not understand that feeling. Why yearn for something that has already happened? Why not make your present someplace you really want to be?

You can either yearn for better times, or you can try to make the best of what you currently have.

But god, how schmaltzy... How cliche! Honesty can be such a letdown. I'd rather be that walking contradiction; partly truth and partly fiction.

The biggest letdown is always when you give in, when the game stops. It's the tension that keeps people interested. The movie always ends once the central characters get together. What they don't tell you is why- because once they end up together, the magic is gone. The shark has been jumped.

Or maybe I have no idea what I'm talking about. Maybe it's just been the wrong people, all this time.

2010-10-07T18:21:00.002-05:00

why be half of a weak embrace?

(there aren't enough "i told you so's" to even cover the situation)

but this managed to make me smile (spoken in reference to the situation):

"pretty girls bounce back"

they always do, don't they?

2010-09-30T21:09:00.002-05:00

Don't ask what happened;

The truth is known to sting. But really, it's like, we know the answers, but don't want to admit it to ourselves. And what is the definition of insanity? Repeating the same actions and expecting different results? Something like that, anyway.

All the dumb pop songs in the world can't save you from the inevitable. Rinse and repeat. It's the car crash mentality of our era, can't stop, can't look away.

And mania is just as bad, if not worse, than depression. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Because at some point, your heart is just gonna explode. Sensory overload.

Like shattered glass on blacktop.

2010-09-30T13:36:00.007-05:00

they told me he was bad, but i knew he was sad...

2010-09-27T13:35:00.002-05:00

goddamnit, every time i blog it automatically updates to my facebook too.

anyone know how to change that?

omg, i can listen to Pet Sounds again.

that may mean nothing to most of you, but let me tell you... it's an awesome feeling.

2010-09-23T19:38:00.000-05:00

anything worth doing
is worth getting hurt for

?!

it's not what you think though.

don't even attempt, to try. to guess.

i'm still voraciously and furiously devouring all my books, at an alarming rate. it's... better. different. but better.

...since the last post, i've only picked up a guitar once. once. it's sad. i was and still am completely serious about it, it's just a matter of procrastination. and my eternally self-defeating attitude.

same reason why i don't blog as much as i used to. i get a really good idea in my head, and then... then it just falls flat. i get all these excuses in the back of my head; its already been said before, and better, by someone else, or god knows what else.

my brain is consistently working against me.

oh well.

i've made no mistakes
i'm never learning from that
i got no regrets
i wanna do it again
do it A - G - A- I - N

postscript... i've been thinking lately.... i really, really miss careening down backroads of southern oregon in a blood red late fifties buick super.... i've been listening to all this rockabilly lately, this raw, sexy, pure rock and roll music.. and it really evokes that sort of passion in me.. it's innocent, yet it's dirty, it's sexy..

i'm so not a car person, either. but i miss that buick super. and everything it represented.

2010-08-17T10:45:00.002-05:00

Don't laugh.

I think I'm seriously gonna start writing, and maybe even recording, some country music.

Not that Toby Keith, Shania Twain, homogenized shit either. Real, honest, true country music. Like the stuff that Tammy and Loretta and Patsy did. No, like the stuff they used to listen to. Like that 1930's, O Brother Where Art Thou, dust bowl, real mountain music.

And maybe no one will hear it. Maybe I won't want anyone to. But I'll like it.

love.

2010-08-09T19:22:00.001-05:00

damn damn damn.

2010-06-08T17:07:00.000-05:00

I really need to start writing again.

'what part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?'

2010-01-25T07:03:00.023-06:00

I was ridiculously happy to hear that industrial outfit VNV Nation was coming to town, only to find out it was another one of their halfhearted DJ sets. Not that their performances are half-assed; infact I'm sure they're quite good. However, i just cannot justify shelling out the big bucks to watch a (relatively) famous person spin records that my local DJ spins week in and week out. I don't know. Maybe they do have an edge on us with their access to otherwise unknown foreign acts, but still, it's nothing I want to spend exorbitant amounts of money for. If I'm going to pay to see Ronan Harris, I expect to see Mark Jackson there as well, along with their synthesizers and wicked backdrops. Hah.

AND while I'm on the subject, why haven't Steve Naghavi and/or And One returned to the United States?

Granted, Mr. Naghavi could take the stage in nothing but a towel and proceed to perform the greatest acoustic hits of ABBA, and I would still be front row. But that's neither here nor there...

It just irks me that these great, underappreciated artists are getting the shaft because apparently, it costs too much to tour the states. Or they get stuck playing venues like VFW Halls and whatnot. In Europe, they can sell out clubs three times over... it;s just frustrating, really.

Then again, it can't be the bands' fault. At least not all the time. Maybe their record labels just don't see the potential of it. Bastards.

Oh but speaking of record labels, Wax Trax! founder Dannie Fleischer recently passed away. So sad. If you read the tributes below this article found in the Chicago Tribune, as well as the posts on their Facebook fan page, it's actually quite touching.

Bonus Astronomy Awesomeness: For the next few weekends at the Cernan Earth and Space Center (part of Triton College) in River Grove, they will be running a planetarium show narrated by our favorite astrophysicist, Phil Plait, aka The Bad Astronomer. Based on his first book, the show will debunk such myths as the "faked" moon landing and explain random scientific inaccuracies... great for the space geek as well as the layperson. Clicky here for more info. Yayyyyyyy

OH LORDY

2010-01-10T00:08:00.000-06:00

it's been too long. I promise I'll be back soon.

whatever happened to?

2009-09-30T14:09:00.004-05:00

My last post was a Jim Carroll song. And now Jim Carroll has passed away. Sad.

If I were superstitious, I would refrain from mentioning anyone in this post... OR I'd refer to some rather troubled people that have been in my life lately. Haha. But I'm not that cruel. Or am I?

Life hasn't exactly been the greatest lately. Got laid off, had to move back home, got my heart pretty much torn out, repeatedly. Dated someone I didn't even like and didn't treat him well at all. Kept going back to the one person that has my heart only to find out he's just passing the time with me.

You think you've hit your lowest point and then it just gets worse. But you know what? I'm sick of pining over things and people that don't care and/or matter. I'm sick of wasting my time.

not my bit, but still good.

2009-07-09T11:08:00.002-05:00

You want an update?

"Teddy sniffing glue, he was 12 years old
Fell from the roof on East Two-nine
Cathy was 11 when she pulled the plug
On 26 reds and a bottle of wine
Bobby got leukemia, 14 years old
He looked like 65 when he died
He was a friend of mine

Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

G-berg and Georgie let their gimmicks go rotten
So they died of hepatitis in upper Manhattan
Sly in Vietnam took a bullet in the head
Bobby OD'd on Drano on the night that he was wed
They were two more friends of mine
Two more friends that died

Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

Mary took a dry dive from a hotel room
Bobby hung himself from a cell in the tombs
Judy jumped in front of a subway train
Eddie got slit in the jugular vein
And Eddie, I miss you more than all the others
And I salute you brother

Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

Herbie pushed Tony from the Boys' Club roof
Tony thought that his rage was just some goof
But Herbie sure gave Tony some bitchen proof
'Hey,' Herbie said, 'Tony, can you fly?'
But Tony couldn't fly, Tony died

Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

Brian got busted on a narco rap
He beat the rap by rattin' on some bikers
He said, 'Hey, I know it's dangerous, but it sure beats Riker's'
But the next day he got offed by the very same bikers

Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

Teddy sniffing glue, he was 12 years old
Fell from the roof on East Two-nine
Cathy was 11 when she pulled the plug
On 26 reds and a bottle of wine
Bobby got leukemia, 14 years old
He looked like 65 when he died
He was a friend of mine

Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

G-berg and Georgie let their gimmicks go rotten
So they died of hepatitis in upper Manhattan
Sly in Vietnam took a bullet in the head
Bobby OD'd on Drano on the night that he was wed
They were two more friends of mine
Two more friends that died

Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died

Mary took a dry dive from a hotel room
Bobby hung himself from a cell in the tombs
Judy jumped in front of a subway train
Eddie got slit in the jugular vein
And Eddie, I miss you more than all the others
And I salute you brother

Those are people who died, died
They were all my friends, and they died"

Special thanks (and apologies?) to Jim Carroll.

2009-05-26T21:26:00.001-05:00

Damn I forgot about this thing!

Oops.

2009-04-12T13:34:00.003-05:00

Okay everyone talks about how awesome Wil Wheaton is... and he is, don't get me wrong. But all everyone seems to swoon over is his turn as Wesley Crusher in Star Trek: The Next Generation.

But what about Stand by Me??? Have you nerds forgotten how great that movie is?! ;)

strings of death

2009-04-09T19:40:00.005-05:00

Lately I've become obsessed with Chicago disasters. Flight 191, The Iroquois Theatre fire, Our Lady of the Angels, the Eastland... you name it. Call me morbid but at the very least, in the case of the fires it did change how we look at building safety. And being that I work in insurance, I'm assessing shit like that every day.

But whatever.

Mark Your Calendars!

2009-04-09T11:42:00.003-05:00

April 18 is International Record Store Day, according to Greg Kot. So awesome!!!

To find participating stores, go here.

dance dance dance to the radio

2009-04-08T19:46:00.004-05:00

This girl's blog is amazing. She posted a picture that brought me back to my youth and it just brought a giddy smile to my face. It really made me miss growing up in Chicago.

I still want my Joy Division tattoo. I know it's a fashionable thing now, but I don't care. I love the design.

I know I promised more blogging, but I really haven't had the time. Between work and attempting to move, I haven't had much to say.

2009-04-08T17:55:00.002-05:00

Oh, so much for blogging every day, like I planned.

This spring/summer will hopefully be different though. Once I move and things settle down. Sheesh.

2.4.6.8 Motorway

2009-03-22T13:20:00.009-05:00

I came across this cute place on my ride home Saturday morning. The Esquire Motel, located at 6145 N Elston, isn't quite the place I'd like to end up staying at now, but I'm sure in it's heyday it was just a quaint little stop for young travellers, or maybe a handsome businessman or two.

I don't know what fascinates me about places like this. I love imagining what it was like in the fifties or sixties, which I'm assuming is around when it was built. What kind of people stayed there, what the walls could tell you...

...but I guess I'm just weird like that.

geek love!

2009-03-20T18:14:00.004-05:00

Last night I got a Facebook friend request from none other than author, blogger, and all-around smartypants Phil Plait. Yes, the Bad Astronomer. And HE sought ME out. Mostly because I commented on his blog, but still. That made my DAY!

crash courses in catastrophe

2009-03-19T17:15:00.003-05:00

Argh. So why haven't I truly blogged recently? It's not for lack of time, I can tell you that. Beyond the random poor-me posts and the whoring out of my friends.... I just haven't had anything to say. About anything.

Honestly, I feel like I'm losing my mind. But not necessarily in a terrifying way. Everything has just become a blur lately.

just what I always wanted...

2009-03-12T11:37:00.001-05:00

Ten defenses for Howard the Duck. Yeah, the movie.

"lane, would you mind if i took beth out?"

2009-03-10T01:29:00.005-05:00

I try not to make this blog so personal but sometimes it just comes out that way.

So let's see... what have I learned recently? They say that after a tragic or at least life-changing event you have to just assess the damage and get on with it, right? So what have I learned?

Hmm. For one, if someone's willing to give up that easily, they didn't really care that much in the first place.

Two. Postcards and letters and poems are beautiful, but they're just words. Meaningless really.

Three? You can't expect anything. Things change. Situations change. People change.

And boy, does that suck.

But on the other hand, one situation ends and a million doors open. So that's been kind of awesome.

And if I think about it, I'm pretty much in the same place I was a year ago, at least in a certain sense. And last spring was pretty amazing. So I'm looking forward to another one of those.

SUCCESS!!

2009-03-10T00:56:00.001-05:00

We are back online, people.

But unfortunately, it's time for bed.

Suckaaaaaaas

Hey Glenn Danzig,

2009-02-19T16:21:00.005-06:00

I know that the rumors about a Rock of Love featuring you aren't true, but if they were... sigh.

(then again, I'm sure he doesn't look anything like this anymore)

Vintage Clothing Show!

2009-02-18T12:22:00.001-06:00

Feb. 27 & 28, 2009
Hemmens Cultural Center, Elgin, Illinois

Friday 5pm-10pm - admission $10 (Good for the entire weekend. $2 off Friday admission if you dress in vintage! Early buying is available at 3 pm for $60)

Saturday 10am-5pm - admission $6

Free parking!
Cocktail Bar, Vintage Clothing Contest
& Live Band Friday Evening!
Gourmet café all weekend-Demonstrations Saturday!

Go here for more details. Unfortunately, since I'm broke, you probably won't see me at this event.

update?

2009-02-05T16:22:00.004-06:00

Okay, so I STILL don't have a computer. But fear not, dearies. I'll be back up soon.

emac FAIL!

2009-01-21T11:53:00.003-06:00

So my home computer is dead. Sniff. I'd be a lot more pissed if it didn't run a lot longer than I had expected... and if I had paid anything for it in the first place. Then again, nearly three years with a lousy boyfriend might be payment enough. Ba-zing!

Oh, I kid. But what does this mean for my site? Could this be the end of my blogging career?! Tune in tomorrow. Same bat-time, same bat-channel!

more queen.

2009-01-16T23:19:00.002-06:00

There's something really comforting about catching the end of We Will Rock You on the radio knowing that We Are The Champions will follow. When did that start? What DJ decided that those two go hand it hand, and how did it become tradition?

I guess I could just wikipedia it.

But I digress... it really makes me wish that iTunes had that feature. Like, if I put my library on random, it wouldn't know to put those songs together. But it should.

best compliment i've ever received.

2009-01-15T22:56:00.005-06:00

An email from my sister...

"If you were a star this is what you'd be:

"Renegade" Stars Tearing Across Universe, Hubble Shows"

holy hilarious!

2009-01-14T18:04:00.001-06:00

Hot off the craigslist presses.....

1000 dollar karaoke! If you're willing to make the trek to McHenry, that is...

escape velocity!

2009-01-13T20:39:00.005-06:00

By now you all know my love for Phil Plait, the Bad Astronomer. Below is a video from another smarty-pants type that I admire, Neil deGrasse Tyson:

i flipping hate that don mclean song.

2009-01-13T19:45:00.002-06:00

This coming February marks the fiftieth year of The Day The Music Died. For you uncultured types, this was the day that Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the Big Bopper died tragically in a plane crash. To mark this anniversary, there are a slew of events going on in the midwest, some even at the original venues they played for the Winter Dance Party tour.

Buddy impersonator John Mueller is heading the Winter Dance Party tribute tour, along with Ritchie impersonator Ray Anthony and Jay Richardson, The Big Bopper's son. Tour dates can be found here, but I would act quickly because they're selling fast.

Fifty years... it really makes you wonder how things would be different if they had survived. If the weather wasn't so treacherous, if they'd had a more experienced pilot. I really believe Buddy Holly would have had a great career and an extensive catalog of work. Ritchie too (No offense JP). I don't doubt that Holly would have continued in music, and continued making hits. But maybe that's just the fangirl in me.

"You're welcome!"

2009-01-12T20:33:00.004-06:00

Last night I was fortunate enough to catch the live premiere of sketch comedy duo Sausage. Playing to a sold out crowd at the Theatre Building Chicago, Sausage managed to blend pop culture snarkishness and self-deprecating humor, with a dash of ridiculousness.

Highlights? The shooting of Pete Wentz bit was pretty goddamn hilarious.

Also, unbeknownst to me, I was featured in one of their sketches, via old footage from an audition tape. Huzzah!

wouldn't it be nice?

2009-01-11T13:55:00.011-06:00

From jezebel, this great question is sure to make you think: What was the album that made you love music? Says blogger Hortense:

This is Paul McCartney's favorite album," my father would say before putting the record on, as if Beatle-street cred would keep me in the room long enough to hear every song. It wasn't necessary: as soon as Brian Wilson's songs started playing, it was all over. This was not a dumb Beach Boys surf album. This was something beautiful and sad and sweet; a strange and lovely album that showed me a side of my somewhat emotionally distant father that I'd never seen. Some fathers like to give lectures, some like to give hugs, some like to play catch. My father liked to listen to Pet Sounds, and he wanted me to like listening to it, too.

While Pet Sounds IS amazing, it seems to be one of those generic hipster answers.. If you read the comments in the post, you'll find a plethora of even more hipster-ish responses. Cat Power? Really? I doubt you were listening to Cat Power ten years ago. Were you shopping at Urban Outfitters then too?

But I'm not knocking this chick at all. Pet Sounds is truly a great record. And I was raised the same way as a child, only my mother was the one obsessed with music.

But if you really want to know what record totally opened my eyes and made me "love" music (as if I didn't love it before), I'd have to say it was Devo's Freedom of Choice. Sure, I loved my mother's fifties and sixties gems, as well as my brother's bad eighties metal/early hip hop, but Freedom of Choice was the first record that I found, that I discovered on my own.

I bought it at a very early age... I must have been ten or eleven. I was digging through the discount bins at the old Rose Records on Schaumburg Road... and I found it for something like a couple bucks, which I'm sure was a fortune to me at the time. Something about the cover just made me want to check them out. The red dome hats and silver suits, the nerdish glasses...

...anyway, I put the record on and loved it from side a to side b. They may be dismissed as a one-hit wonder, a novelty eighties group, but it really was a great album. It made me buy their other records, and in turn it made me want to check out other bands.

And that, actually, is what I think makes a record like that so important. When it makes you want to track down similar artists, similar genres; when it makes you branch out and check out the artists that influenced them, and the artists that they influenced themselves, that's when a record really makes an impression.

So thanks, Devo.

gee, i wonder why this company didn't take off.

2009-01-10T21:21:00.001-06:00

cheap cologne and that damn song too.

2009-01-07T20:03:00.010-06:00

Something about seeing/hearing Naked Raygun on a jukebox makes me ridiculously happy. Sunday I was at Schuba's for an open mic, and not once, but TWICE, I heard the sweet sounds of Raygun. I was so giddy about it, I not only expressed my squealy girly excitement to my long-suffering boyfriend, who barely batted an eye, but I also explained it to his brother, who had no idea what I was talking about.

It's gotta be the Chicago pride thing. It's the same reason I have the Wax Trax! power lines tattooed on my arm. At any rate, here's a couple of the local bars with halfway decent jukeboxes:

● Inner Town Pub: 1935 W Thomas Street

If I remember correctly, they have Throb Throb and All Rise on the jukebox, which is my favorite album anyway. It's a little bit hipster, but the bar is neat and old. They've got Iggy and The Dolls on the box too, and pool tables. Overall, it's a cute little place.

● The Gingerman Tavern? 3740 N. Clark

Well, considering I was drunk the last time I was here, I could be completely wrong on the name and location. BUT, I know it's right next to the Metro, and it has a really great jukebox. As far as the Raygun goes, it only has Understand? on it, but that has the classics Treason and Wonder Beer, so that's good enough for me.

I'll post more when I remember.

Next week: A list of the best Mexican restaurants in the area that still have the game Burgertime.

oh lenny.

2009-01-07T18:47:00.001-06:00

just because.

2009-01-05T21:09:00.004-06:00

I'm pretty sure that if heaven were to exist, Freddie would be playing sold out shows every night.

Whee 2009!

2009-01-04T13:33:00.003-06:00

Unfortunately, I didn't know that we could smuggle our cameras into the Metro on NYE, otherwise I would've posted some really gnarly Dandy Warhols photos.

Best part of the entire night though was buying bottles of champagne from the bar... and walking around the venue, dressed to the nines, swigging from bottles of bubbly.

Oh, and the band... I'm sure the band was good too.

I'm stoked about oh nine though. Got some ideas a'cookin... or something to that extent.

i need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me.

2008-12-30T13:39:00.003-06:00

I'm going to complain for a bit. It's like a bad-news-first sort of thing.

I hate shopping. I hate the mall, I hate consumerism. I hate the empty conversations between people in fitting rooms; conversations that I'm sure I've been guilty of myself but that's beside the point. I feel like one of the valley people from that show The Oblongs, surrounded by a sea of Debbies.

And I really don't care at all for Alice in Chains, but when I saw one of their music videos plastered over the screens in the Juniors section at Nordstrom's, I grimaced and wondered if Layne Staley was rolling over in his grave.

...But I have to say, the photograph of the Hubble Ultra Deep Field, and the following words from Alan Taylor and Carl Sagan, has calmed the homicidal maniac in me. If only temporarily.

Go now!

2008-12-22T13:59:00.002-06:00

Y'all should be following and reading this blog. Soon to be chock full of videos and hilarity!

ramalama

2008-12-14T10:01:00.005-06:00

Incredibly sad about Bettie Page. Incredibly.

I was pretty miffed the other day driving home from work, when I heard Adam Ant's Goody Two Shoes on 94.7. Really, oldies channel? Don't get me wrong, I love my eighties new wave, but it does not belong on the same station as my fifties and sixties rock and roll. Am I just getting too old? Is this just one of those "things were better in MY day" rants?

It is really sad about the state of radio though. At least where I'm from. And maybe it has a lot to do with my musical tastes changing... but it's also depressing when you know that your oldies station now has a disco night.

funk dat

2008-11-30T01:42:00.000-06:00

Oh but while I'm on the subject... this is extremely presumptuous of me, but after watching Control, it made me wonder if people really write better when they're experiencing some sort of emotional turmoil. Thoughts?

quoi?

2008-11-22T22:07:00.003-06:00

me: I just rented that Joy Division movie.

my sister: yeah i know it was a good fucken movie

me: But man. Ian Curtis was an asshole.

my sister: yeah he was, probably why he killed himself.

Hahaha.

it's the little things.

2008-11-20T15:12:00.002-06:00

noblesse oblige

2008-11-20T11:21:00.002-06:00

I have had nothing to say lately. Nothing of importance, nothing of... unimportance. I'd really like a new camera, to be honest. I would love, instead of talking about it, to just document what I've been doing visually (make your joke, go ahead). I mean, the last time I was able to get pictures was (luckily) my San Francisco trip. And now my camera's basically busted. But there's no point in me posting pictures of the shiny, fancy new camera I want... I don't get why bloggers do that. "Oh, here's this new fantastic thing I want"... like we care? But then again, I suppose some of us do. Living vicariously through rich jackasses maybe?

In the words of Bartelby via Crispin Glover, "I'd prefer not to."

STILL, I'd like a camera that works.

2008-11-18T21:12:00.007-06:00

one of several things that makes me less loathsome:

...more to come, whenever i feel like it.

'i wanna clamp michael's face in a george foreman grill'

2008-11-18T21:06:00.003-06:00

There should never be enough time for you to stop and wonder, "what if". Just be. And do. Life is too short.

And if I wasn't hacking up a lung, I'd be out 'doing' and 'being'.

Being sick makes me extra loathsome of the human race. I've noticed this. And while some of it is admittedly irrational, trust me, I have my reasons.

Fuck you, San Diego.

and now, this:

2008-10-18T12:52:00.003-05:00

ZAAAAAABKAAAAAA!

HALP.

2008-10-13T20:52:00.003-05:00

Hey, I am looking for these movies. Please to read and help a sista out (and I don't mean send me a damn link to buy it on ebay. I'm broke y'all).

Static (1986)

Home Movies (1980 - obviously not the adult swim show)

Yeah, so I'm kind of on a Keith Gordon kick. Blame AMC for showing Christine the other night.

cultural wasteland

2008-10-11T18:38:00.004-05:00

Oh Elvis, what were you thinking?

Then again Robert Smith did the same thing with, ironically enough, the wife of FOB bassist Pete Wentz. So maybe it's just the start of some disgusting trend.

By the way, have you heard the new FOB? It reeks of desperation. A sophomore-times-three attempt at still remaining relevant.